The Badonkadonk Blog Intro

Welcome to The Badonkadonk Blog! 

You have landed on a blog that is dedicated to the attempt of reducing my very voluminous bootay. Over the years it has grown by leaps and bounds and is quite out of control at this point. I am scared to even measure it, although when I rise from sitting atop a plush blanket it does leave quite the impression. And no, I will not take a picture of it! At least not today. So sickos you just go away. Go on, march off of my badonkadonk.

Now, for those of you who are likewise troubled with your own massive badonkadonks, feel free to have a seat in one of my hip-friendly virtual chairs without the restricting arms on the sides. Relax your beautimous maximus and let me make you comfortable while I expound on my exaggerated hind quarters.

Many years ago I had a tiny hiney. It was just adorable. But unfortunately I was too blind to enjoy my perfect shape and thought I was fat when I was not. Oh the warped minds of teenagers. I didn't know how good I had it when I had it. Fast forward the years and here I am closing in on 45. My back end resembles a shelf, has a mind of its own, doesn't know its own strength and can easily topple knick knacks off tables without even making an effort. Hence, the badonkadonk.

What is a badonkadonk, you ask? Well according to the urban dictionary, it is "an extremely curvaceous female behind. Women who possess this feature usually have a small waist that violently explodes into a round and juicy posterior." Yes, I guess that does aptly describe my tushie. Oh well.

I am not getting any younger people and I don't want my end to get any larger. So starting today, I am pep-talking myself and doing my very best to be the bigger person by becoming a smaller person. My plan is fairly simple. I am planning to mimic the meal supplement program of Medifast, a diet plan I've used successfully in the past.

I'm currently quite miserable at 5'2" and too many-something lbs. I'm waiting for a scale I ordered to arrive so I can be more accurate on that. My small framed body was not made for the weight that I carry. My knees are weak, my ankles get tired from walking, my hips are quite uncomfortable and I have an injury that has never been corrected from a few years ago between my hip and knee on my left leg, that has increased my sedentary lifestyle, limited my mobility and kept me from exercising do to excruciating pain. Overall, my body is definitely telling me it is at its limit.

I've failed miserably at dieting over the last few years. Honestly, I didn't care much because of a depression I was going through after my husband's passing. But now, I am beginning to care again. What is going to be different this time around? Hopefully my determination. Hopefully my strength and commitment. I have found where my loopholes and weaknesses are and have to stay away from them or else I'll be throwing up the white flag again.  My pitfalls are these:

• ALLOWING MYSELF EXTRAS: extra snack, extra meat or extra veggies. Extra healthy fats.  ~ Not all at the same time mind you, but on a regular basis they add up AND they put holes in my armor and lead to cheats and meals off plan and then days off plan and then weeks off plan and I'm done for.

• NOT EATING ON A TIMELY BASIS: If I don't eat within the every 2-3 hour time frame as Medifast suggests, I am thrown off kilter and become extremely weak minded and will most likely cheat. This is especially tricky for me in the mornings. I don't like to eat right away, but if I don't eat my Medifast 'inspired' meal within 30 minutes of getting up, I will put it off for hours and then cave to eating something off plan. This also happens in the evening if I don't get all my meal replacements in. I'm prone to snacking at night and if I don't get all my meal replacements in it's easy to justify to myself that if I eat an off plan snack and log it without going too far over my numbers then its 'okay'. But its NOT okay.

• NOT PLANNING AHEAD: If I don't plan my day the night before, I have too much wiggle room. This means I will make emotional choices in my meals and eat what I feel like, rather than what would work out best for my day or my week. Certain foods are better for when I'm on the go, and I kind of prefer them over other meal choices I have on hand at times. This is okay once in a while, but not okay when I'm running low on my go to meals and I need them when I'm out and about.

• NOT HOLDING MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE: I have to keep myself inspired by seeing my progress, by encouraging myself and being my biggest cheerleader and ultimately by holding myself accountable. If I start this journey without something in place to log my journey (besides my fitness pal app) I will not continue. That's where this blog comes in handy. I will do my best to journal through my challenges, to describe my process and to push myself through this journey and keep myself from quitting on myself for the 100 millionth time in my life. I'm worth more than that, I deserve more than that and my kids need me to be healthier so they can have a more normal lifestyle too.

If I can manage to avoid these and get through my first few days on plan without incident then I should be good to go. I have already started eating mostly low carb meals over the last week (with an exception here or there) but plan to start solid on this journey either sometime this weekend, hopefully by Saturday! So wish me luck! Here's to the reduction of my mighty badonkadonk!